11 years and counting

It is hard to believe that today is 11 years since I began my time here. It seems like a lifetime ago. I suppose it is a lifetime ago. So much has happened since the day I walked through this door for the first time. I have spent the last 10 years in this same space, looking at the same walls and while things have changed the building remains the same. So many amazing people have walked in and out of this building both as customers and baristas, it has truly been a privilege to have interacted with all these people in the community all these years.

If I could quantify what my time here means I don’t think that I would do it justice. It has been my refuge when things were so bad, being here was the only place that gave me hope to make it to the next day. It has been the place that has reminded me that I needed to recheck and recalibrate myself when I became so consumed with my own stuff that I forgot my responsibilities here. It has given me the gentle reminders I needed to keep living. It is the place I have met some of the most important people in my life. It is where my daughter became a reality. It provided me the flexibility to go back to school to get my masters, so that I could do what I love. I am so grateful for my time here and for everything that I have been able to accomplish.

I am on the precipice of change, and it is a lot to process. I forgot sometimes how old I am and as I think about what the future holds it is scary and exciting, but it is a reminder that I must move at a pace much faster than I once did. If I don’t, I may miss it. Life is the greatest gift and as I awaken to this new life, I don’t want to miss any opportunities. I want to live. It has taken me a long time to adjust to this period of my life. I have struggled to accept that so much has changed and that the change is reflective of bigger and better things. As I continue to move through those feelings and realize that even in the sadness and the changes, I have found the beauty in life and appreciate its fragility more than ever before. You just don’t know what the future holds so you just need to live in the here and now and that has been the thinking that has helped me get through the last few months especially.

I woke up today and I didn’t think much of my 11 years, but as the congratulatory messages came through from current and former supervisors I thought wow, it’s been a long ass time in one place but what history I take with me. History, memories, they are the pieces you get to take with you when you no longer have access to something. No matter what it is you always have your memories and while everything has a mix of good and bad it is your experience of it that matters. I hope that as time goes on that I get to retain these memories that I get to reflect on this time 11 years from now and I can recall the impact that this place has had on me and above all else all the lessons I have learned by having been able to work with such incredible people. I did a quick review of the beautiful faces I have had the opportunity to see grow up here and move on to their chosen careers or other opportunities and I think how incredible it was to be part of their journey. Each of them a part of mine as well. Age has never mattered here and the wisdom that has been imparted on me by so many wonderful people past and present has been invaluable. An incredible blessing.

Just like most things, it has not always been a cake walk and having gotten through this recent challenge of the COVID-19 pandemic has been a test of patience and self-control, but it has taught me that putting one foot in front of the other is all you can do to get to the next day. We did that this past year and a half as a team. My team held me up when I wanted to fall, and they will never know how much that really meant to me. I wasn’t there for them when they needed me, but they were there for me. They reminded me that we work together as a team to make things happen even when one of us is struggling. Change is coming for all of us, and our journeys may not be continued here together but each of them will forever have a piece of my heart.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds. I know that I am making plans for the future. Things that I can look forward too. I have a lot of work to do to get to the place that I desire. The place that will allow me the opportunity to enjoy some of my hard work, but I am more determined than ever to realize my dreams. If I wait for them to happen for me, I will die having not accomplished nearly anything that I have ever wanted. And that would be a shame. Today is about celebrating opportunity, about celebrating all the memories and experiences that have come from being in these four walls for 10 year and for the 11 years of learning and growth.